A writer for the show ‘Sex and the City’ made the phrase ‘he’s just not that into you’ a catch phrase for women across the country. What does it mean? It means that, when you ask your friends ‘Why do you think he hasn’t called?’ or ‘What do you think he meant by (blank)?’ and they make up excuses for him (‘He was sick.’ or ‘He couldn’t get to the phone.’), you are not to believe them. Why hasn’t he called? Because he’s just not that into you.
Your friends don’t want to hurt your feelings and you want to believe that you’ve got a chance but hear this: Save your energy for a guy who is that into you, by weeding out the ones who aren’t.
He Calls At The Last Minute Or Breaks Plans Often.
Why doesn’t he make plans with you in advance? Why is he always calling you to see if you want to go out that night or the next day? Why is always breaking off your dates at the last minute? Because you’re his second choice. If he really wanted to see you, he would be calling well in advance to make sure that you didn’t make other plans.
He Talks About His Ex All The Time.
Why does he keep telling you to stories about her, asking your opinion about things she said or did – constantly? Because he’s still into her – and he’s not into you.
He Doesn’t Like The ‘Us’ Conversation.
Does he avoid calling you his girlfriend, introducing you to his parents, or taking you out with his friends? Does he change the subject when you want to know what’s up with you two? Then there is no ‘us’ for you and him – at least not as far as he’s concerned.
He Hasn’t Asked You To Homecoming.
If somebody’s going to ask you to homecoming or the prom, they need to do it in advance. Way in advance. If you’re his girlfriend or you guys are dating and he hasn’t brought it up or avoids the subject when you do, then he’s waiting to see if he can’t get a date with someone else. Someone not you.
You Always Call Him.
There’s no reason for this, no excuse that can make it okay that you always have to track him down if you want to talk to him or go out. If you not dialing the phone or going by his locker for a week means that the two of you don’t talk all week, then he’s just keeping you around until he finds someone he likes more.
He Won’t Answer His Cell Phone In Front Of You.
PWhy is it that when his cell phone rings – and the ring is different from all the rest – that he either turns it off or answers it and walks away so you can’t hear what he’s saying? Because he’s seeing someone else. He’s cheating on you or he’s cheating on her – or he wants to.
He Isn’t Interested In What’s Going On With You.
Does it seem like he’s not listening? That you have to tell him 4 times about your grandfather’s birthday party and explain over and over why you have to meet your tutor twice a week? Does he never refer back to things you’ve said or ask you about specific things that are going on with you? Yeah? It’s because he doesn’t really care about what’s going on with you.
The Truth Hurts
Obviously, these aren’t the things you want to hear. You want to believe the excuses he gives you or you make up for him. You want to think that there’s a future for you two because you like him and you want a future with him. But if these things are happening in your relationship, you’ll do better to just admit the truth and move on because he’s just not that into you.
